Doloribus Mors
by ShayleeRae
Summary: When Draco saves Hermione's life in the final battle, he doesn't expect to be hit by the curse that was meant for her. Now the time keeps ticking away and only Fleur knows about it. Can he get her to keep quiet and Hermione to forgive him for their past?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is another Dramione fanfic of mine. The idea to it came to me in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. Or maybe I couldn't sleep because of it? Either way I plan on this story to be a little shorter, maybe about 10 chapters that are all not that long. It's more of a mini-story I guess. The beginning of it is Draco's POV, but later there are also others.  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the Characters or settings. The lovely J.K. Rowling does and hopefully always will.**

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><p>He almost yawned as he shot another halfhearted curse at the French girl in front of him. Truth was he could have killed her about twenty minutes ago if he had wanted to, she wasn't exactly a challenge for him. But then again, who was? He didn't want to kill her though, he didn't want anyone from the Order to die today. He had known for a while that the path he had taken wasn't the right one to take. He was not a Deatheater, he did not think that Muggle-borns were scum and he sure didn't admire the Dark Lord. He had been forced into his ranks and had been forced to stay in them. Just like his mother. And that all because his father had made some really bad decisions a couple of years ago. But he knew that even his parents were smart enough to understand how wrong they had been. He knew that they, just like him, were ready to do something drastic. To finally change the way people looked at them and to finally change the way they were looking at themselves. He dodged a Stupor curse Fleur had shot at him easily and let his eyes wander around the hallway. It was absolutely empty except for another fighting couple right next to him. Hermione Granger was fighting Theodore Nott Senior and was standing almost right next to Draco. It would have been so easy for him to just send a curse her way and she never would have seen it coming. He could kill her if he wanted to. But luckily for her, he didn't. He sent another curse towards Fleur and sighed. That would probably keep her busy for a while. It wasn't like she was a bad fighter, he was just so much better.<p>

He regarded Hermione again and watched her as she had her hands full with trying to dodge Nott's curses and still find the time to shoot a few back at him too. She was obviously not ready to fight against a Deatheater just yet. For a moment he thought about the possibility that Nott was playing around with her, just like Draco was playing around with Fleur. He really would have expected the best friend of Harry Potter to be a little more powerful than that, a little more experienced. And still he was sure that he could beat her in the blink of an eye in an one-on-one duel. But soon that wouldn't matter anymore anyway. As he was following her with his eyes he shot another lazy curse at Fleur. Then suddenly he saw a curse as black as a raven shoot towards Hermione, who was still too busy with fighting off the last curse to see what was coming towards her. This curse looked like death itself even though it wasn't the killing curse. He knew exactly that that curse was something far worse than Avada Kedavra. Without thinking about it he ran the couple of feet over to her and pushed her to the side. Looking back at it it would have been smarter to just use his wand, but in that moment he forgot he was a wizard for the first time in his life, when bold fear rushed through him. Before he could get out of the zone of danger himself he felt a piercing pain shoot through his right arm. It felt as if the arm was being amputated the Muggle way. Tears shot in his eyes, but he knew he didn't have time to give in to his pain at the moment. He raised his wand and yelled "Avada Kedavra!" as loud as he could. A green curse ran towards Nott who was too confused to react. The curse hit him right into the chest and he fell over. Draco fell down on his knees as well, fighting against the breath-taking pain in his right arm. For one moment everything went black around him, but he couldn't give up that easily. This was not the time to pass out. He had to fight so he could end all of this. He had to be conscious. The struggle with the pain became more and more over-whelming, to a point where Draco knew he wouldn't be able to get up that day at all. But suddenly the pain disappeared almost completely and his surroundings appeared around him again. He raised his arm a little bit and the pain shot back through it, so he lowered it again. Then his eyes finally fell on the lump body in front of him. Knowing that the curse hadn't hit her since it had hit him, he figured he must have knocked Hermione out when he had pushed her out of the way. His eyes then shot up to the beautiful silver-blond girl that was just staring at him, too confused to know what to do. After a couple of seconds Fleur finally lowered her wand and ran over to him and Hermione, kneeling down next to her. Knowing that she would be taken care of Draco got up while Fleur lightly slapped Hermione's cheeks, trying to get her to wake up. Sighing Draco rolled up the sleeve of his right arm and examined his arm where the curse had hit him. He couldn't make out a change in his skin. He noticed that Fleur was now staring at his arm intently, then her eyes wandered up to his. A weird expression was on her face, one that he had only seen from his mother a couple of times in his life. He decided to just ignore this and glare at her.

"No one can know about this." He hissed and without waiting for a reaction from her he ran down the corridor.

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><p>When he was in an empty corridor he stopped in his tracks and rested against the wall for a couple of seconds. This didn't matter, he had known that something like it could happen. He had been prepared for this. The only thing that mattered was stopping the war and the Dark Lord. He couldn't let his emotions come in the way of his goal. He would take care of this after the war was won, but for now the only thing that was important was helping as much as he could. He opened his eyes again when he heard hasty footsteps. He saw Harry running down the corridor, straight towards him, obviously not seeing him standing there. Draco straightened up and moved to the middle of the corridor. He just stood there, his wand raised towards Harry until said boy finally made out his presence. He stopped immediately, a shocked expression on his face.<p>

"Avada Kedavra!" Draco yelled and Harry's eyes opened up even wider, his mouth opening slightly. The curse rushed right past Harry and hit the Deatheater that had followed Harry right in the heart. Harry turned around, surprised, and eyed the dead Deatheater behind him. Realization hit him and he slowly made his way over to Draco.  
>"Thank you so much, Malfoy!" he said, breathing heavily.<p>

"No problem, Potter. You should know that me and my parents are on your side. No one should know though. Not yet."

Harry nodded, understanding the tactical advantage that that could bring him in the end. Draco looked around the corridor for a little bit. Pieces of the wall were lying all around the floor, portraits were damaged. He couldn't stand seeing Hogwarts in this condition. He had never hesitated telling people how much he hated Hogwarts and Dumbledore, but the truth was that he loved it just like Harry did. Just like to Harry, Hogwarts was his real home to him. It was a place to flee from his parents' power over him. The place were all of his best memories had taken place. And now it was being destroyed by some filthy little Deatheaters. Only one more reason for him to end this war and stop the Dark Lord. It seemed like Harry wanted to say something, but was cut off when a red curse was flying towards him. Again Draco threw himself in front of a Gryffindor and caught the curse for him without thinking about it. But even if he had thought about it he would have done it this time. He couldn't let the boy who lived get hit by a curse, not today. Besides this one was most likely just a Stupor curse. But nonetheless pain shot trough his back, which brought the glistening pain in his right arm back as well. Still he was fighting against the unconsciousness, but his body couldn't handle the pain anymore. Everything around him went black again. He held onto consciousness as long as he could, but eventually the battle was lost for him.

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><p><strong>AN: From the first chapter you probably can't really tell where this story is going, but I'm just asking you to wait a little longer and keep reading. It will pay off for you. This chapter is more of a prologue. So as always let me know what you think and review! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 1**

He slowly opened one of his eyelids and peered through it. He was lying in a very white, empty room. On one side of his bed was an ugly nightstand, on the other one two uncomfortable plain-looking chairs. On one of the chairs was a pile of clothing. He sat up a little bit. He didn't feel any pain, so why was he lying on a bed in St. Mungo's? Well actually he did feel a slightly stinging pain in one of his arms. No one except for him was in the room, so he decided to just wait a little bit until a healer would come that could tell him what he was doing here and how he had gotten here. Draco waited for about a quarter of an hour, then he became too impatient. He quickly got up and put on the clothes that had been lying on one of the chairs without paying a lot of attention to it. His mother must have brought them by.

Suddenly the door to his room opened and a man in a white cloak came in. He had to be a healer. He looked like he was in his mid-fifties and had spent his life eating too many chocolate frogs. His big face looked very kind though.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Malfoy." He said respectfully and held out his hand. "My name is Healer Clarke."

Draco shook his hand and felt the pain in his arm become stronger and stronger. "Hello. Can you tell me what happened?"

A big smile appeared on the old healer's face. "The war is over. You-know-who has fallen. We won."

Draco couldn't help but smile as well. This was good news. At least he had achieved what he had wanted. "So why did I lose consciousness?" He then asked.

Healer Clarke's face became darker. "You got hit by a Stupor curse."

With those few words all of Draco's memories came back to him. Him fighting with Fleur, him throwing himself in front of Hermione, him catching the curse for her. He gulped hard.

"What about the other curse that hit me?" He finally managed to ask, even though he already knew the answer to his question.

The face of the healer suddenly became as dead as a corpse. "You got hit by the Doloribus Mors curse."

Draco closed his eyes for a second, not wanting to let the old man see the fear in them. He had to focus, he could not lose his composure. He opened his grey eyes again. Now they were completely emotionless. "Is there anything you can do about it?" He asked, again knowing what the answer would be.

Healer Clarke shook his head slowly. "This is a very dark curse, I'm even surprised that you encountered a person that could operate such a curse and came out alive." As soon as he had spoken those words he had realized what mistake he had made. Alive. Draco had come out alive?

"I am sorry." The healer apologized. "That was definitely the wrong diction."

Draco just nodded absent-mindedly, not really caring. "How long is it again?"

"Seven days the longest. Often less, never more." He answered a big crease between his eyes and a frown on his face. He probably looked just like Draco himself right now.

Draco nodded. His voice was too weak and scared to sound like Draco Malfoy's when he said, "I don't want anyone to know, not even my parents, is that clear?"

The healer nodded as well. "They're waiting outside... your parents." He then informed him.

"Tell them to just give me a couple of minutes when you leave, will you?"

Again the old man nodded and went over to the door. Before he walked through it he turned around one more time.

"Mr. Malfoy, you should know that a lot of pain will be awaiting you."

Draco breathed out heavily to calm himself down. "I am fully aware of that, Healer Clarke." He hissed.

The healer bit on his lip. "I just mean that I believe you will need someone to get through this with you. Of course I am in no position to give you any advice, but... Pain is a lot easier to bear when it is shared."

"Good afternoon, Healer Clarke." was all Draco replied coldly. The old man then disappeared. Sighing Draco rolled up the right sleeve of his shirt again. Halfway between his elbow and his wrist there was a dark black mark of the size of maybe a coin. Quickly he rolled down his sleeve again, not wanting to look at it anymore. He would have enough time to look at it in the next week after all. He suddenly noticed that his left forearm was feeling oddly free and light, maybe just because his right one was now feeling so heavy and pained. But still he rolled up his left sleeve and sucked the air in sharply. The Dark Mark was gone. He couldn't believe it. As soon as he had been freed of the Dark Mark another branding of Dark Magic had appeared on his other arm. His luck. But at least he wouldn't have to ever see the ugly Dark Mark again. Just as he had rolled that sleeve back down the door burst open and his parents stormed in.

"Draco is everything alright with you? Have they been treating you well? How are you feeling? Did you eat anything yet?" Narcissa Malfoy bombarded her son with questions. Draco sighed loudly and stopped her by saying, "Everything's fine with me, mother. No reason for any worry. I just got hit by a Stupor curse and lost consciousness for a couple of hours. Nothing severe."

Both his mother and his father seemed extremely relieved by his words. Lucius grabbed him by both of his shoulders, which sent a piercing pain through Draco's right arm. He tried to hide the flinch, but wasn't very successful with that.

"Everything alright, son?" Lucius asked worried.

Draco shrugged it off. "Yes, I'm just still a little sore." he explained.

Lucius nodded understandingly. "I just wanted to let you know how glad I am that it's over. How glad I am that all three of us survived and we made it out of this alive. Now that the Dark Lord is finally defeated I feel like we can finally get to know each other better and become a real family. I know how hard the last years were on all of us. But now we have the time to fix it."

Tears welled up in Draco's eyes, but he hastily blinked them back. A whole other pain shot through his body, this time it didn't have anything to do with any curse. It had everything to do with the knowledge that that would never happen. Because they didn't have time and because he couldn't do that to them. He just smiled sadly and replied, "I'm glad too, father."

He then turned to his mother and saw that she too had tears in her eyes. "Draco." She sobbed. "I was so worried about you. I... I honestly wouldn't know what to do if my only son died before me. I don't think I could live with that. It would hurt too much, I don't think I could survive it. But you're alright. We all are."

Tears ran down her pale cheeks and it almost teared him up himself. How would she handle it? If she ever found out, what would she do? Would she take her own life?

"You don't have to worry about me, mother. I can take care of myself." His voice sounded oddly thick when he said those words. He was still trying to fight back the tears. She pulled him close to her and hugged him tighter than she had ever hugged him before.

For years he hadn't gotten along with his parents. He had found his mother weak for not standing up to his father. He had hated his father for what he had done to their family. And they had acted like they didn't care about him. And now that all this seemed to change, now that all of them had realized what was the right thing to do and how important they were to each other... now this? How could he do that to them? How could destiny do this to him? He allowed a single tear to escape his eyes and then swallowed the rest down, while his mother was hugging him tightly and his father was patting his left shoulder.

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><p><strong>AN: Review and let me know what you think, please.  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Day 1**

As he was walking down the long empty hallway he heard a lot of voices from a door to his left. There had to be a lot of people in there, which was odd since visiting hours had been over for a while now. He knew due to the fact that his parents had been sent away a couple of hours ago. He had finally been released after convincing Healer Clarke that it was absolutely unnecessary to keep him any longer when he could spend the little time he had left doing something better than that. What exactly he didn't know either. There really wasn't anything he wanted to do. No special person he wanted to spend time with, nowhere he wanted to go, nothing he wanted to do. He didn't even want to spend time with his parents, knowing that the more time he spent with them the harder it would get for all the ones involved.

He got pulled out of his thoughts when he practically ran into something. All he could see was a brown bush. He steadied himself and then helped the girl in front of him catch the bags she had almost dropped. One of the heavy paper bags practically fell onto his right arms and he cried out quietly. He really had to learn to treat his arm with more care. As soon as he realized who was standing in front of him, he tried to just walk past her, but it was too late.

"Malfoy?" Hermione asked disgustedly. "What are you doing here?"  
>"I just got released." He explained shortly and again tried to walk past her.<p>

"Malfoy... Fleur told me what happened." She looked at himm seriously and his blood went ice-cold. That stupid French girl! She had told Hermione of the curse? How could she dare? What gave her the right to do that?

"I guess I should thank you for saving my life." She glared at him, and it seemed to him as if it was really hard for her to say those words. As if she didn't even want to do it, she just knew it was the thing that was expected from her. He calmed down a little. Knowing Hermione she wouldn't show such a display of hatred if she knew about the curse. She would at least feel a little bad. Maybe even guilty. Even though she hated his guts. So she probably didn't know anything.

"No problem, it's the least I could do." He responded simply and she just stood there for a while, holding her heavy bags as if they weighed nothing.  
>"Well I better get going..." He then said sadly. He knew that if he walked away from her now he would probably never see her again. He couldn't. He needed to make the cut as clean as he could, so that no one ever suspected anything. He had to leave her behind. But everything inside of him fought that thought tooth and nail. He couldn't just leave. Not without any good-byes or the one thing he needed the most. He needed resolution. He needed them to forgive him. Not only for all of the things that he had done during the war, but most importantly for how he had treated them all along. He knew that he hadn't had a choice, due to the bad decisions his father had made a while ago. But he could have acted differently about it. He could have just ignored them. But for some reason he hadn't. He just hadn't left them alone. A painful memory of him hexing Hermione with the spell that made her teeth grow rose up inside of him. This all couldn't end without him being forgiven. Again he felt tears rise up inside of him at the thought of dying all alone, all by himself, and hated by the only people that were important to him. He didn't want to change the fact that he would be alone, he couldn't do that to anyone. But he could change the fact that he wasn't forgiven. He still had a couple of days. Maybe two or three, then the pain and the symptoms would become too much for him to hide them. And he didn't want anyone to know. He just couldn't. Because those people would feel bad for it, they would feel guilty, maybe even hurt. And the last thing he wanted was to cause any more pain.<p>

"Yes. You should." She replied cooly and walked past him.

"Wait!" He said quietly, his voice oddly clogged. "I need to talk to Harry!"

She nodded towards the door he had heard so many voices come from and walked through it, without even looking back. A stinging pain shot through his whole body and he cringed.

"Come on, not now." He whispered quietly, cringing over. He could feel sweat breaking out on his forehead and tears stinging his eyes. His whole body was on fire, the worst part being his right arm. He cried out as quietly as he could and hoped nobody could hear him. He waited minutes for the pain to go away, but it didn't. The pain was still rushing through his body.

"Go away." He begged pleadingly, and couldn't help the tears streaming down his cheeks anymore. He surely wasn't a man to cry easily, but this was an automatic reaction of his body that he couldn't control. He collapsed on the floor and felt sweat streaming all over his body and wetting his clothes and hair. He locked his eyes firmly and clenched his teeth, keeping more groans and cries from escaping his throat. He didn't know how long he had been on the ground like that, but after a while he realized that it wasn't going to go away. The pain would stay. He just had to learn to deal with it. And hide it. Only for a couple of more days. Maybe only one more day. Yes, one more day would do. He could get them to forgive him and then... then he could end the pain somewhere far away where no one would ever know.

Groaning quietly he got up with a lot of effort. He tried to wipe away the sweat and the tears on his face a little bit, but he knew it was no use. His jaw clenched together so tightly that he thought he would break it. Now he just had to straighten himself up and get out of that cringed position. As soon as his stomach straightened a little bit it felt like a thousand of stupor curses hit him in the abdominal at the same time and he cringed again. Might as well get it over with. He slowly opened the door and stepped through it. As soon as the eyes of everyone in the room were laid on him he forced himself to pretend that nothing was wrong. He straightened up again and tried to ignore the pain that came with it. He gave his signature smirk, even though he knew it would seem a little forced. But they couldn't know. He had to act tough for just a couple of minutes, then he would be able to go home and hide in his bedroom, take a bunch of sleeping potion and pass out for a couple of hours. Forget the pain for a couple of hours. The Weasleys and a couple of other people he recognized were standing around Harry, who was lying in a king-sized bed. When Harry saw him he smiled at him and Draco reluctantly dragged himself closer to the bed.

"Malfoy!" Harry then happily cried out. "I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. Without you I wouldn't be lying here right now!"

Draco forced himself to smile awkwardly.

"I'm really happy that you turned to the right side after all."

"It's fine, Potter. And I'm pretty happy about it myself." He said with a husky voice, sounding less than happy. But that didn't have anything to do with his change of sides... he was happy that he had made that decision, wasn't he? It had been the right thing to do. But if he hadn't done it he wouldn't be cursed right now... He wouldn't feel this pain right now...

"Don't be so humble, Malfoy! You deserve some praise right now!" George said and hit him on the back. Draco tried to hide how much his whole body hurt when he did that, but he was sure he had let his facade slip for just a split-second.

"Thanks, man. Not only for Harry and Hermione, but also for my wife..." Bill looked over to Fleur and gave her a smile. Draco's face immediately got darker when he saw Fleur's face. She looked at him disapprovingly and raised her eyebrows.

"Is everyzing alright wiz you?" She asked, obviously worried.

"Yes." Was all he replied and he threw her a long and dark glance that told her to keep quiet.

Harry, commpletely oblivious of this asked "Why don't you come to our party tomorrow? It's at the Grimmauld place."

"I'll see what I can do." Was all Draco replied. He knew he couldn't take this a lot longer. He knew his mask would fall any second. The pain was taking the better of him and he couldn't control it anymore. He could already feel his body tremble and sweat breaking out again.

"Well I really have to get going." he forced himself to say and left the room as quickly as possible, before anyone could say anything.

He didn't even realize that Hermione had followed him out of the room, until she stood in front of him.

"Don't think that everything's forgotten just because you decided to join the right side in the end. You will always stay a nasty little ferret. They might have forgiven you," She nodded towards Harry's room. "But I didn't. And I will make sure you pay for all that you have done for the rest of your life." She spat and he cringed a little.

He forced himself to laugh a little and say, "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm going to leave the country in a couple of days."

"Where are you going?" She asked, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"I'm going to Thailand." he answered simply, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say.

"Thailand?" She wanted to know confusedly. "What are you doing in Thailand?"  
>He sighed. "I am going to live there, Hermione. Probably for the rest of my life. I just want a new start, a new life. Never having to look back, never having to remember all of this."<p>

She raised her eyebrows. "I still don't understand why Thailand."

"Thailand has beautiful beaches." He stated.

"Thailand has natural catastrophes." She replied scowling.

"It has lots of sun."

A frown appeared on her face. "The sun will burn your skin, look at you. You're as pale as snow."

"It has people that are completely cut off from the rest of the world so that they don't know anything that's going on outside of their village."

"They won't be able to understand you."

"The women are easy."

She rolled her eyes. "The women are only easy because they're unshaved and transmitters for a thousand sexual transmittable diseases."

He glared at her. "My money is worth so much more over there."

"You're rich anyway."

He became more impatient, he had to get out of here fast. "I always wanted to see Thailand."

"When are you leaving?" She asked almost challenging.

He shrugged. "As soon as possible."

She frowned."Well it would make me very happy if you could leave before tomorrow's party so that I'll never have to see you again."

A wave of pain shot through him, but this time it wasn't the curse that did that to him. It was the realization that she hated him even more than he thought. She wouldn't forgive him. But he needed her too. He needed it so bad.

"I'll be there." He replied. "But only for a little while."  
>She scowled at him one more time and then turned on her heels and went back into Harry's room. He quickly dragged himself down the hallway and out of the hospital.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Day 2**

„I don't understand, why would you want to move so far away?" His father asked, confusion in his voice.

Draco sighed. „Don't you get it, father? No one here will ever respect us again. People will panic when they see us walking down the streets, they will hide their kids behind them. This is not a life for me. I just need to start over."

His mother shook her head, tears dripping down her face again. „Please don't do that to me, Draco. We can get through this as long as we have each other. Please don't just leave me by myself."  
>As always it took Draco a lot of energy to keep his guard up and not give his mother anything she wanted when he saw her like that. „What do you mean „by yourself"? You still have father."<p>

Both of his parents suddenly seemed to find everything on their plates very interesting. „What?" Draco asked harshly.

His father sighed defeatedly. „It his highly likely that I will spend a lot of time in Azkaban, son. They trust me not to run for now, the hearing will be tomorrow afternoon." He didn't seem to be upset about this, or even scared. He was perfectly calm and composed. Like a Malfoy man was expected to behave. Draco on the other hand was fuming inside.

"How can they do that? Don't they understand that you have changed? That _we_ have changed?" He yelled furiously and the pain inside him became more intense with every word. He just swallowed it down. After a night of this pain he had gotten a little more used to it. Turned out sleeping potions had no effect on him anymore. That would have been too easy of course. So he had laid whimpering quietly into his pillow all night long, scared that his parents could hear him. He had to stay strong for them.

"It doesn't matter. I have done a lot of bad things in my life and I need to be punished for them. I deserve to be punished for them."

His mother sobbed quietly. Draco couldn't leave her all by herself. She wouldn't be able to handle it. She had never been alone, she had always had her sisters, or her husband and son. Now all by herself, with Bellatrix dead, her husband going to Azkaban and her son cursed. Andromeda, her other sister, was still alive but they hadn't had contacted each other in years. How would she be able to live through that? As much as the publicity wanted to think that Narcissa Malfoy was a strong and heartless woman, she was neither of both. She was a woman that needed support and crumbled if she didn't have it.

Draco finally laid down his fork and looked at the scrambled eggs in front of him. How did it happen that the life of the only people he loved had become so scrambled as well?

Without caring about any stupid etiquette or politeness he got up from the breakfast table.

"I really have to go. I have a party to attend." He mumbled as he was on his way of leaving the room.

"Draco!" His mother yelled after him and he reluctantly turned around again.

"What?" He sighed.

"When are you going to leave for Thailand?" She almost whispered.

"Tomorrow" He answered emotionlessly.

His father stared daggers into him. "Before you leave you'll have to make sure you give us your address so we can visit." He tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

Draco shook his head slowly. "I won't."

Lucius was up in one second, fuming with rage. "Why is that, son?" He spat out and Narcissa whimpered quietly.

"I don't want you to visit me." Draco replied, a big lump in his throat. These couple words were probably the biggest lie he had ever told anyone. Truth was he wanted to see them every day for the rest of his life. But if they knew it would cause them so much more pain than thinking that their son had abandoned them. To know that your only son had died before you...

"Why not?" His mother sobbed, pain and hurt in her voice and face.

He gulped heavily. He needed to hurt them in order to protect them from even more pain. He needed to do this. "I don't want you to visit me, because I don't ever want to see you again. You're like a constant reminder of everything that has happened and I just want to forget." He hoped that the tears that were rising up in his eyes could be mistaken as tears of anger and frustration, when really it hurt him so much to lie to them. They had lied to him all of his life, but now that he wanted to lie to them to protect them from misery he couldn't do it without almost tearing up. Before they could give him any reaction, he left the room, and his parent's house, and finally disapparated once he had left the property.

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><p>Knocking on the heavy wooden door doubts were rushing through Draco. Maybe this wasn't the best thing to do after all. Maybe it would be easier to just leave right away and not stay another day. Another day that he had to pretend like nothing was wrong and like the pain wasn't eating him up inside. What if he actually came to like the people? That would make it even harder for him. Or worse, what if they actually came to like <em>him<em>? He shook his head, repulsed by the thought and by the consequences that it would bring. He hurt so bad. And it would only spread further and get worse. He really shouldn't be here. Just when he was turning to leave a familiar bushy-haired girl opened the door. He had to get her to understand. He needed her to forgive him for his actions.

"Oh it's just you." She said, not even trying to hide the disappointment in both her face and her voice.

"I'm delighted to see you too, Hermione." Draco replied with a fake smirk.

"Come in." She moaned and turned around. He followed her into the house of his dead relatives. It was dark and old, but as clean as it could get. He found it even creepier than his own house, and that had given him some nightmares. There were people all around, he made out some of the Weasleys and some other familiar faces like Kingsley Shacklebolt.

Sighing he noticed that Hermione had disappeared into the crowd, leaving him all by himself. He walked over to a long buffet and grabbed some snacks and pumkin juice. When he sat down at a table, Harry sat next to him.

"Hi Draco." He said brightly.

"Hello." was all he replied.

"I'm happy you made it. I just wanted to thank you for everything you and your family have done for us again."

Draco almost choked on a praline. "What do you mean... my family?"  
>Harry shrugged. "When Voldemort tried to kill me he sent your mother to look if I was really dead. She saw that I was still breathing, but she didn't tell. She said I was dead, which eventually lead to me beating Voldemort. I owe her." He smiled widely.<p>

Draco stared at him darkly. "If you really owe her you should make sure that her husband isn't being sent to Azkaban. Because her all alone would lead to her all dead in about two weeks." He hadn't meant for it to come out as a hiss, but he didn't feel sorry for it either. He was glad that Harry was happy, but if he really wanted to help he would save the life of the woman that had saved his.

He could see Harry's brain working in light speed. His face had become darker. "Draco, there is absolutely nothing I can do about that. Lucius has done too much. He has been involved in too much."  
>"He has changed!" Draco burst out furiously, almost yelling.<p>

Harry just shook his head apologetically. "If you feel so strongly about leaving your mom alone, maybe you should stay then."

Draco's teeth clenched together. "I can't."

Harry eyed him for a long moment, then he murmured, "I'm sorry, but there's someone else I need to talk to."

Draco just nodded and turned back to his pralines. He had never noticed how good simple things like those really were. Draco just sat there for a while, eager to leave, when his eyes met the eyes of a certain blond witch. She stood next to her husband, Bill, but that didn't keep Draco from walking over to her and asking her to speak to her in private. She reluctantly gave Bill her glass and lead him out of the hall and into a small room.

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><p><strong>AN: Let me know what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Day 2**

„'ow do you feel?" She asked as soon as they were alone.

„I don't know what you're talking about." Draco replied.

„I'm talking about ze curse zat 'it you." She whispered, her eyes wide.

He sighed, forcing himself to look as if he didn't have any worries or pain. „The curse missed me."

Without any warning she pulled on his arm and he cried out loudly. She rolled up his sleeve cautiously and gasped.

„Take off your shirt." She demanded.

„No, I..." he began pleadingly, but she didn't listen.  
>„Do it!" She almost yelled.<p>

With shaking fingers he slowly opened the buttons of his shirt and opened it up. Then he let it fall to the ground and for the first time let his mask slip while another person was around. His body cringed in the pain and tears stung in his eyes.

„Oh mon dieu!" Fleur yelled, tears in her eyes and terror written all over her face. He didn't have to look down to know what she was staring at. He had seen it this morning in the mirror. He knew that the nasty dark mark had spread itself all over his upper body, covering almost every centimeter of his skin with the dark, tar-like surface.

"I 'ave never seen anyzing like it." She said quietly, tears now streaming down her face. He knew that it didn't have anything to do with him, it was just the sight of something so powerful and dark that bothered her that much.

"Does it 'urt?" She finally asked.

"What do you think?" He replied seriously and bend over to pick up his shirt again. But that was too much for him. His upper body felt like it was being crushed by a giant's hand and he didn't have the strength to get up again. He didn't know what happened, but the next thing he knew was that he was lying on his back, his body aching all over and warm tears streaming down his cheeks. He knew that he was looking pathetic but he had no control over his body anymore.

Fleur bent over him, desperation in her teary eyes. "'ow can I help? 'ow? 'ow? 'ow?" She cried over and over again. Then suddenly she tensed up.

"Draco..." She whispered, again terror on her face. "Your eyes..."  
>Draco looked at her confusedly and ran his fingers over his cheek. He looked at them and his stomach turned upside-down. He was crying blood. His body meant to sob in shock, but all that came out was a cough. A loud cough.<p>

"Help me up!" He yelled, panicking.

She gently took his arm and tried to pull him up, which was harder than expected and more painful as well. But finally he was standing next to her again and she helped him put on his shirt again. She then wiped away the blood on his face with a handkerchief.

"What is 'appening?" She asked, her voice oddly high. He could tell she was losing it and felt bad about it.

"This is why no one can know about this. The people out there have already seen enough evil, they have already lost enough people. They don't need this right now. They would only feel even more guilt."  
>She shook her head. "Zey 'ave to know!"<p>

He grabbed her arms gently. "Fleur. Just imagine how Hermione would feel if she knew. Even though she hates me, you know she would give herself the blame. Because the curse was meant for her! She would feel so guilty. And Harry... he seems to have forgiven me. He would think he could have done something to prevent it. You know that."  
>She nodded, tears streaming over her face. "Yes."<p>

"So will you keep my secret?"

She nodded.

"Do you promise to?" He asked more quietly.

She nodded again, sobs escaping her throat. "It is not fair. You just 'ave change sides."

A forced smile appeared on his face as he lied again. "It's okay. I guess my time has come."

His insides rebelled against his words. He was too young to die. He was too scared. It wasn't his time yet. He hadn't achieved anything he had wanted yet. He wasn't married, he wasn't successful, he was nothing.

"You're brave." She stated quietly.

He laughed out emotionless. She didn't even know how wrong she was. He was so scared, it was almost worse than the pain. He was scared of what was about to come, he didn't want it anymore. He just wanted to give up.

"Fleur. Can you do something for me?" She raised her eyebrows. "Just see it as my last wish."

She nodded. "Anyzing."

He gulped hard. "Take care of my mother. She can't be alone. You need to keep her alive."

Tears rose up in her eyes again as she nodded.

"I have to take care of something now. I wish you the best of luck for the rest of your life. Goodbye." Without turning back he dragged himself out of the room and into the big hall again.

"Goodbye." He heard her whisper after him.

* * *

><p>He looked for her for minutes, before he finally spotted her in the back of the room, talking to Ginny.<p>

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked when he was within earshot. She looked him up and down and shrugged.

"Do what you have to." She sighed and didn't move. Ginny next to her raised her eyebrows and smiled at him.

"Hey Draco." She greeted him friendly and he nodded at her.

"Please, it's important." He then said urgently.

Hermione seemed less than willing to talk to him, but Ginny nudged her in the side.

"Fine." She finally murmured and left the room. Draco thanked Ginny silently and followed the brunette.

"What do you want?" She hissed as soon as they were alone.

"I want to explain. All this time I bullied you... I didn't want to but I think I thought I was expected to. Obligated. And me becoming a Deatheater... I didn't want that either, but he would have killed me if I didn't. I went along with it, but I knew I would turn against him as soon as I could. I know this isn't an excuse, but I just need you to understand. I need you to forgive me. Can you do that?"  
>She stared at him blankly for a while, then her face turned into an angry grimace.<p>

"And why do you need me to forgive you? Why me?" She hissed.

"I don't know." He replied truthfully and confusedly. He really had no idea why it was so important to him. "But I know that I can't come to peace with myself if you don't." He had given too much away and he knew it, but luckily for him she didn't care.

"Well you know what? I will never forgive you for what you did, Draco Malfoy! I will never forgive you for bullying me, I will never forgive you for becoming a Deatheater and most importantly I will never forgive you for just standing by when I was being tortured." She shrieked.

His guts felt like they were being twisted and turned and he breathed in sharply. He remembered that day when her and the others had been held captive in his house. And when Bellatrix tortured Hermione. He remembered her screams, her pain, her sweat dripping down her face. And yet she hadn't told them a word. She hadn't talked at all. He had to admire that will strength, even back then he had. But he couldn't do anything about it. It would have blown his cover and he had sworn himself, he wouldn't act until the war would be on the verge of being over. He wouldn't act until his action could help end the war and Voldemort. Of course seeing her like that had almost made him change his mind. But then he remembered why she didn't tell them anything. Because the war was more important than every single one of them.

"I can't take back what I did or didn't do, no matter how much I wished I could." He finally whispered. "But I need your forgiveness for it."

"Well you know what I need? I need that stupid curse that should have hit me to hit you. I wished it would have hit you because then this world would be rid of another piece of scum." She yelled furiously.

He nodded slowly, his heart and mind numb. He didn't want to feel the effect her words had on his feelings. He couldn't stay around anymore, he couldn't feel like this anymore. He had to end it, he had to end this torture. As soon as possible. He would leave tonight, instead of tomorrow morning. He would make it stop. He would rid this world of another piece of scum.

"Fine." He said quietly. "Just remember that I really am sorry, maybe some day you can forgive me then. I hope you'll be able to lose your hatred, because that is what makes good people become bad people, Hermione. You need to lose your anger and hatred, so that you can become happy. And I hope you will." He hesitated a moment, fighting against all the different kinds of emotions he felt. "Goodbye, Hermione." He then whispered.

To her it was just a really odd goodbye. To him it was so much more than that. Because right in that moment he knew that this would be the last time he would ever see her. This was goodbye for good.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry it took me so long to update... I had a writer's blockade or whatever it's called I think... there's really no excuse... I just need you to forgive me I guess. Be better than Hermione and forgive a poor soul like me! ;)**

**Read&Review!  
><strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Day 2  
><strong>

„That stupid git asked me for forgiveness! How could he dare?" Hermione yelled and furiously picked up the dishes from the table in front of her.

„I don't know, 'Mione. Don't you think that he's kind of... changed?" Ginny said calmly and followed her friend to the sink.

„No!" Hermione cried out determined. „I do not! He's still the same old git that did all of that to us! I don't understand how everyone else can be so delusional about him."

She scrubbed one of the plates ragingly, forgetting that she was a witch and could just clean it with magic for a second.

They were standing in the kitchen of the Grimmauld's place, surrounded by others that helped cleaning up after the party.

Ginny laid her hand on one of Hermione's arms. „So when you look into his eyes you don't see this incredible sadness in them? This fear even?"

„No, his eyes are expressionless and as cold as steel. Always have been, always will be." She hesitated for a second. When he had asked her for forgiveness his eyes had been empty, right? She frowned a little. Had she seen a little unfamiliar spark in them? Something like desperation? She shook her head. No, impossible.

"I will never forgive that little blond ferret." She yelled.

Ginny shrugged. "And no one expects you too. All I'm saying is that you maybe should at least think about it." She hesitated for a while. "I just don't..." She began, but then stopped.

"You don't what?" Hermione asked curiously.

"I just don't want to see you so full of hate, 'Mione. It's not healthy. It's not you." She whispered.

Hermione couldn't hold a cold laugh back. "Oh my god, now you sound just like him."

Ginny shrugged. "That only means that he seems to know you better than you think he does."  
>Hermione was about to give a smart comeback, when she felt a presence next to her and smelled something like lilacs.<p>

"'ermione are you talking about Draco?" Fleur asked and Hermione turned around to her, annoyed.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am." She tried not to sneer at her, but it was hard. For some reason she still couldn't stand Fleur after all of those years. She told herself it was because she was annoying, but a small part of her knew that it was more about jealousy than anything else. Fleur had it all, the good looks, the success, the handsome husband, and if she was completely honest to herself she had the intelligence as well. And what did Hermione have? The intelligence. That was it.

"You talked to 'im?" She asked, her annoyingly sapphire eyes wide open.

"Yes." Hermione simply replied and tried to walk past her. But Fleur stepped in front of her again and held her back.

"What did 'e say?" She asked, a weird tone in her voice.

Hermione pulled her eyebrows up, irritated and confused about her reaction. "He wanted me to forgive him." she replied. "And that's definitely never going to happen."

Fleur's eyes opened up even further and looked kind of glassy. She just stared at Hermione for a while, a ton of emotions written on her face. She seemed to have forgotten that Hermione was standing right in front of her or that she was in the middle of a conversation. She just stared through Hermione as if her eyes weren't able to focus on anything anymore. There was pain on her face, and sadness.

"What?" Hermione asked suspiciously. Fleur shook her head, as though she had just awoken from a trance.

"Nozing." She said simply. She hesitated. "What did you say to 'im?"

Hermione sneered. "I told them that that's never going to happen and that I wished the Doloribus Mors had hit him." She said and Fleur breathed in sharply. "I can't believe that it missed him..." Hermione continued, more thoughtful.

"You did not!" Fleur screeched. "You did not say zat to 'im! Mon dieu, est-ce que tu es folle à lier? Bête, bête fille!"

Hermione did not understand French, but she did understand when she was being insulted.

"Excuse me?" She asked angrily.

Fleur ignored her and strutted out of the room. A second later Hermione heard the entrance door fall close.

"What was up with that?" Hermione asked and Ginny shrugged.

"Who cares?"

* * *

><p>When Fleur knocked on the heavy wooden door doubts rushed through her. She had only heard bad things about the house she was about to enter. Scary things. And two of the three people that were living in it she was terrified of. She really had no right being here. She just wanted to run away again. But it was too late, with a creaking sound the door opened up and a small houself was standing in front of her.<p>

"Welcome to Malfoy Manor, how can I help you?" The apparently female elf asked submissively.

"I need to speak to Draco Malfoy." She answered.

"Master Draco?" The goggle-eyes of the little creature widened so far, it looked like they would fall out of her head any second.

"Peggy, who is at the door?" Fleur heard a female voice yell from the other side of the door. In the next moment a beautiful woman appeared in the doorway. Her silky white-blond hair fell in a curtain around her pale face and her grey familiar-looking eyes eyed Fleur suspiciously. She was beautiful in every way, but time and worries had left their marks on her complexion.

"Mrs. Malfoy? My name is Fleur Delacour. I need to speak to your son, please." Fleur explained a little intimidated. "It's urgent." She then added.

Tears appeared in the silver eyes of the woman in front of her and Fleur's stomach churned around.

"Draco is not here." was all that Narcissa replied, but Fleur could tell there was something going on.

"Why? Where is 'e?" She asked, desperation in her voice.

"He left for Thailand a little earlier. And he's never going to come back. He said he needed a new start." Narcissa sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Fleur could tell she wasn't a woman that openly cried a lot or showed her emotions to a lot of people.

"To Thailand?" She asked confusedly.

Narcissa nodded. "It's a country in Asia."  
>Fleur almost rolled her eyes. "I know zat." She replied.<p>

It remained quiet for a while. "So 'e's gone?" Fleur then whsipered. The woman in front of her nodded.

"Who are you anyways? Why do you care?" She asked then.

"I'm a friend of 'is." Fleur answered quietly.

Narcissa's eyes assessed her thoroughly. Then a small smile appeared on her lips. "You know, you seem to be exactly the kind of girl I always encouraged him to date."

Fleur wanted to say something, but Narcissa beat her to it. "I guess it doesn't matter now anymore, does it?" She sighed sadly.

In that moment Fleur felt so bad for the woman in front of her. Her only son had apparently left her behind to move to the other side of the world. If she knew that he was really going to die... Fleur could see why Draco hadn't been able to tell her the truth. He tried to protect her from any more harm.

"Mrs Malfoy, where is your 'usband?" She asked cautiously.

She gulped hard. "He's looking for Draco as long as he still can. He's trying to get him to come back to me. Tomorrow Lucius will probably be sent to Azkaban. So for now I am alone."

Fleur's heart skipped a beat when she remembered Draco's last wish. He had told her that his mother could not be alone. That she had to take care of her. And the woman in front of her definitely needed some help.

"Mrs Malfoy, would you mind me coming in for a little bit?" She asked.

The woman smiled hesitantly. "Please. Call me Narcissa." She replied and stepped aside so that Fleur could follow her inside.

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><p><strong>AN: R&R please!**


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